Fat Girl Me

So If you look at a picture from June of last year and look at one of me now you will notice 2 things: 1. my dreads have grown in nicely and 2. Geeezzz I've gotten fat. I know, I know. That seems to be a terrible thing to sit down and look at, but even when I try to pretend like the scale is lying to me, I can't because I have photographic proof that I've gained back 20 lbs. And the excuses! Man, I can't work out because I need to make sure my room is in order. My room's not in order because I have to work, I have to work because if I don't I'll be homeless...well that last one is true, but I do know that I am simply not making time to workout, just like how I was not making time to write because, "I need the right setting to do so" and my room stays a mess so I can't. 

But it's not just the working out, it's the eating. I used to be fine with tiny portions now I can't tell if I'm full unless I'm bursting. I have all of these things to my disposal at work: cookies, chips, soda, burritos. I don't drink soda so that isn't a problem for me, but I've racked up quite a sugar addiction and I literally get an itch for candy or something sweet after meals. That definitely can't be good. I'm starting to think I'm not only addicted to sugar, but to overeating in general. Eating makes me happy usually, and it taste good. I like the feeling of eating something tasty and when I'm bored I always take a quick look in the fridge for something to munch on. I tell you, I need a 12 steps program to lower my habit down to "eating for survival", not for fun...

I don't have to go to work until late tomorrow. I plan on cleaning my room and finishing up an article for the online publication I write for --nerdcaliber.com-- and getting some pilates in. But the truth is...because I don't want to really work out...I'll have breakfast, take a shower, peruse facebook for memes and watch How I Met Your Mother before making a small attempt at organizing my room, only to  fall asleep and wake up just in time to head out to work. *sigh*